You are here

I am the very model of a modern German professor

Submitted by Michael Neininger on May 23, 2020 - 6:28pm
marlene
Marlene

I am the very model of a modern German professor.
Each day at three I decline a Dativ,
But at bedtime I prefer Akkusativ.
Almighty Goethe I shall never doubt.
And while Luther is a contentious lout,
He remains my grand confessor.
I am the very model of a modern German professor.

I am the very model of a modern German professor.
My knowledge of OHG runs far and wide,
I’ve even memorized Walter von der Vogelweid’.
While Klopstock is someone I can’t endure,
Gottsched and his Dichtkunst I adore…
And his wife Luise none the lesser!
I am the very model of a modern German professor.

I am the very model of a modern German professor.
My friends all call me “Herr Ironic”
Behind my back, Fräulein Demonic.
Novalis is the stuff of dreams.
But Marlene Dietrich reigns supreme.
I know. I was her dresser.
I am the very model of a modern German professor.                                                       

I am the very model of a modern German professor.
Each night we feast on curry Wurst
All the time reciting Rilke's verse.
On Saturdays we love our bagel
And hope to be conceived by Hegel
Whose limpid prose remains a great de-stressor.
I am the very model of a modern German professor.

I am the very model of a modern German professor.
I have no beef with those who fail at Rechtschreiben,
Provided that they spend each night imbibin’
Schnapps and all kinds of racy media
For which they write a dope encyclopedia
And drink to me, a Spätlese connoisseur.
I am the very model of a modern German professor.

I am the very model of a modern German professor.
Subjunctive I and II is nothing short of rapture
Even if their sense I’ve yet to capture.
And while all those cases cause me grief
Their mastery offers such absolute relief.
As for those who claim to be my natural successor...
I am the very model of modern German professor.

Share